My friend sent me the Find-A-Grave links and I have checked on a regular basis and neither haven’t been merged as of today. They submitted the two merge requests in early October. In my experience, merge requests tend to happen much faster although I had a few that took over a month to get approved. I don’t normally pay attention and I tend to leave a flower when I submit a merge or edit request so I can track them that way.
In a slightly different case, if you look for Camille Saviola on Find-A-Grave, she was originally designated as a Famous memorial. When I went looking for her, she was no longer under the Famous listing. Apparently, some admin at the website demoted her to non-Famous. That’s rare as once someone is accepted as Famous, they tend to stay Famous.
If you have a merged suggestion, and they merge the other memorial into your memorial, you get an e-mail of the merge. If your memorial is merged into the other memorial, you don’t get an e-mail. In theory, if you are the first person to create the memorial in the correct cemetery, the merge should go to you. The admins can tell, if they bother to look, as to when the other memorial was added to the cemetery. In general, you have 30 days to move the memorial into the correct cemetery. In some cases, if a person has headstones in two or more cemeteries, you may not know where the person is buried. I saw a case where a couple had a cenotaph in one cemetery and they are buried in a nearby cemetery.