This is my personal preference. I don’t add people to graving sites unless I have proof where they are buried. A friend was added to Find-A-Grave back in 2011 after she died. Originally, the person adding her said the cremains were split among three relatives. I checked recently and it no longer says it. It now shows ashes unknown. I don’t consider cremains given to one or more people as a permanent location. At some point, the person will die and the cremains may go who knows where.
I am not a fan of Burial Unknowns (BUs), especially as many use this as a go-to source without identifying where the person is going to be buried, inurned, entombed, etc. Others go with Cremated, Ashes unknown or given to family. That’s not a final resting place.
My mother’s brother died in 2008. His wife died in 1993. I haven’t added them to Find-A-Grave as I don’t know where they are buried. I don’t know my first cousins, their children, well enough to ask them. I have a theory, but no proof. He qualifies for a military headstone as he was in the Coast Guard during World War II, but nobody ordered one.
Previous Tombstone Tuesdays posts: https://upsdownsfamilyhistory.wordpress.com/tag/Tombstone-tuesday/