You have the choice to forgive or not forgive. If you go with not forgiving, then the consequences of that choice are also yours. I am not saying forget what someone did to you. With some people, forgetting what they did to you will only invite more problems down the road. Some of the most bitter people I run across are those that don’t forgive, or they give a false forgiveness where they aren’t really forgiving someone.
When it came to apologizing, my parents had two rules
- Know what you were apologizing for
- Mean it
My parents could usually tell if one of us didn’t mean as it was usually pretty obvious when we didn’t mean it. I don’t hold grudges as I have better things to do with my limited time on this planet. I recognize most of the time when someone needs to be removed from being a friend.
Sometimes the best thing you can do after forgiving someone is to remove them from your life by dropping the relationship. I know people who find that dropping the relationship is the only way to remove a toxic person from their life. It’s not always possible in some circumstances, but minimizing contact goes a long way to reduce future problems.
Other Forgiveness Sundays posts: https://upsdownsfamilyhistory.wordpress.com/tag/Forgiveness-Sundays/