Why You Should Be Careful of Memories – September 23, 2019

This is actually a serious post, but I am injecting humor into it to show why you shouldn’t trust memories. I have memory issues and have frequently thought something happened in a year that was not correct. In my case, it helps that we moved a lot growing up so I can often remember we lived at address X, Y, or Z to pin down a time frame. As an adult, I also moved a lot which can help me pin down a time frame.

I am looking for where a deceased classmate is buried. She’s not on any of the graving – Find-A-Grave, BillionGraves, etc. websites and I am not sure where she died. Two of my other classmates indicate she died in 1981. A couple of small problems with the year. My classmate got married in 1982 – so either she was a zombie or she wasn’t dead. Second problem, she had a child in 1982 or 1983 – which means she wasn’t dead or she’s a zombie Mom.

It didn’t help that I knew her by her middle name. For the longest time, I did not realize it was her middle name until I was digging through a Harrison County, Mississippi marriage database online. In some records, it lists her with first name middle name, but in other records, it’s middle name first name so I am not sure if the name I knew her by is her first or middle name.

My father’s maternal grandmother has the same issue. In some records, she is listed with Holland as her first name and in other records, it’s her middle name. I always called her Grandmother Holland and thought for the longest time that Holland was her last name. It was only after doing research where I found Holland was her first or middle name. Given the other name, I could see why she preferred Holland over it.

I still haven’t found her burial location.It took a while as I didn’t know her married last name. I eventually found it as well as her parents who are buried in a national V. A. cemetery. Which rules out her being buried there unless her husband was in the military. Plus, that cemetery is good about adding people who are buried there to Find-A-Grave.

After finding her married name, I was able to find a Social Security Death Index (SSDI) result which shows she died July 1983 in my home county. I haven’t found an obit, but 1983 is a bad year for trying to find online obits. It’s not just 1983 which is a bad year. It tends to fall into the cracks for several of the newspaper archive websites – GenealogyBank, Newspapers.com, Newspaper Archive. It is hit or miss as some newspapers for this time frame are available at one or more of the newspaper archive sites.

I found a couple of obits, but they are on a site I don’t have paid access. The tease doesn’t give enough information to show if it includes the cemetery. It does mention the funeral home, but my past experience with them is they pull the dumb card where they don’t give out information on where if it’s not in the obituary. The disadvantage of getting buried by an internationally owned funeral home that cares more about money.

About ICT Genealogist

Originally from Gulfport, Mississippi. Live in Wichita, Kansas now. I suffer Bipolar I, ultra-ultra rapid cycling, mixed episodes. Blog on a variety of topics - genealogy, DNA, mental health, among others. Let's collaborateDealspotr.com
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